Glimpses of an Old Friend

They say age is a disease and can be prevented but isn’t life and age the same thing? You can’t live life without ageing nor can you age without adding new pages to the journey called life.

Anyway, I haven’t come back to my blog after 1562 days to blog about life or age. 

I had a strange encounter with an old friend today. I used to know him better and it did feel a little unfamiliar finding him again but that happens right? Priorities change, situations change and so do people.

I was idle and I started wondering. 

We all have encounters with ourselves. Do you ever think sometimes about yourself? In your head, do you ever wonder who YOU really are?

It’s true that every person believes they know who they really are. Or who they think they really are. You could call it an alter-ego, a ‘dark passenger‘ or whatever you want. But it’s there. Some say it’s a mental projection of who you want to be, who you are afraid to be or maybe even who you are expected to be. But no denying it exists.

Sometimes, when I am not a part of the rat race I have grown up believing is life, I meet my alter-ego, I just call him ‘myself’. Everytime I meet myself, he is different. Sometimes he makes me feel better, sometimes worse but everytime – like I am not being true to myself.

The thing is, I get to meet myself only when I am alone. He only meets me when I am thinking of nothing else. He just walks in quitly and sits there and once again I start trying to figure him out. I think I understand him pretty well but there are still some surprises, and disappointments.

Maybe, that’s how this relationship is meant to be?

Anyway, inspiration my old friend. Thank you for seeing me today. Hope to see you soon and finding you where I least expect you to be hiding.

I am sitting in Mangalore right now, with pretty much nothing to do. The WiFi is not working and the TV is not interesting. The window with a view to the street will have to do today:



Life is a very frustrating experience. There are ups, there are downs and there rock bottoms. The direction you are gliding out of and heading towards are very important detrimental factors everyday.

That is what is called perception.

It can be good. It can be bad. It can be real or it can be complete absurdity. Whatever it is, it defines somebody at that point of time.

Then what makes us so resilient to change?

Adaptability comes naturally to anything with a functional brain. Without moving, forwards, backwards or sideways, there is no progress.

Yet there is evolution.

It takes courage. It takes time and it takes energy. Evolution is not as simple as Darwin pointed it out to be. There is the emotional aspect. There is frustration.

The circle, is complete.


When Tom finally met Harry

There was once a young boy called Tom. Tom was a wonderful boy. He had all the makings of a successful person, he would never tire of work, he was honest, helping others made him feel better and he was also very smart. There was just one problem. When Tom was three years old, he lost his right leg in an accident. He had to walk with crutches for the rest of his life. Well, he could also turn to a wheelchair but that was besides the point.
This was one thing that always held Tom back. Deep down, he knew that he was always destined for great things. He was not arrogant, but he had recognized his own potential. The flip side to this was that Tom knew this too that he was disabled. He knew he could never live to be even half of what he was meant to be because of his disability. So, he resorted to acceptance. But he made a grave mistake. He did not accept his disability, he accepted that he was disabled. He did not choose to move on, he chose to build his own life around the fact that he did not have two legs.
Whatever Tom did, he felt triumphant but all that he was unable to do, he blamed on his disability. Tom was never able to drive a car, not because he had a disability, but because he knew he couldn’t. He never got a proper job because he felt that his interviewers would reject him straightaway.
One day, while looking for a work assignment online, Tom met Harry. Harry asked Tom to design an ad campaign for his new range of running shoes. Tom did a great job. He was very creative as well. Harry was so impressed that he offered Tom a full time position at his media agency. Tom was apprehensive but as he was required to work from home, he felt there was no harm and he took up the job. Time went by.
Harry went on to become a big guy and his media agency went on to become a big company. When he was expanding and moving into his newer bigger office, he told Tom he had a cabin ready for him as Head Designer. Tom, afraid that all his hard work would be wasted when the world realized he was disabled, chose to decline the offer. He had an impressive resume now and could get another online assignment easily. Harry was unhappy as he wanted to retain all his old staff but when Tom did not agree, Harry gave in. Time went by, again.
One day Tom got a letter. Harry had passed away and his funeral was being held not too far away from where Tom lived. Tom, who had a reasonably comfortable life now, felt he owed Harry at least a visit. Nobody recognized him by face so it wouldn’t matter now anyway. So, on the date of the funeral, he wore his best suit and went to see the person who helped him to become what he was today, who he never actually met in life.
As soon as he reached, Tom heard a woman reading out the obituary. Since she did not look too young, he thought it would be his wife or maybe a sister. What he heard next, made him too uncomfortable. He turned around and left immediately. The words of the woman “Since he was five, Harry never let his lower body paralysis come in his way” still ringing in his ears. Tom felt horrible. As he cried inside, he could think of only one thing. If only his accident could have waited two years to happen..

Which Hood are you wearing?

This isn’t really a movie review. This is just some appreciation for Noel Clarke. And at a pretty young age, he’s written two pretty impressive scripts and turned them into movies.

When Kidulthood released in 2006, the reviews were quite mixed. But it didn’t fall short of critical acclaim. In my opinion, it showed a very true picture of life as an adolescent, specifically in the UK. The life, along with all the pressure that comes with growing up, is exhibited in a brutal but very real way. It clearly shows how some make the right choice and some go the wrong,easier and more attractive way. Some, on the other hand, do just what the person next to them is doing. Its a pandora’s box of trouble involving the most common problems you’ll come across today. There is teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, gang wars, murder, and even suicide. All woven together to jolt you awake and look at life a little more clearly. And one things for sure, you will hate Sam, the character played by Noel himself, by the end of the movie.

Adulthood hit theaters in 2008, but what went against it was that there were a lot of expectations. You could tell that they weighed the director down. But I found it to be a good film, well made as a continuation of the previous film. It shows that adulthood is no easier and there are problems here as well. It shows Sam’s journey, after stepping into adulthood, hated by his friends, given up on by his family and the worst part, straight out of jail. You can say it has a happy ending but by the end of the movie, Sam would have moved a few notches up in your book.

What I liked most is that no matter who or what kind of person you are, you will be able to associate yourself to the characters in this two part movie.

The Opposite of Left

What is right? It never had a clear definition. Today, it is as obscure as it ever was. There is nothing that you can say or do which will be right, even from your own point of view, unless in a definite time frame. The wind of change has erased the very concept of right, and in the process, wrong as well.

There was a time when two people would argue about who was right. Two ideas would battle it out in the ring called righteousness. Today, it is possible for this fight to take place in a person’s own brain. With a result extremely difficult to come by. What seems right today, you may end up regretting a day later. We have all learnt the hard way.

If you live in a place called India, this effect will be even more profound. A man takes to the street and kills on contracts. Because he needs to feed a family of six including a chronically ill child. He never went to school, friends came and went by and family was just a concept. For a man with a cleft lip and a severe speech disorder, the three years of employment he had as a car washer in a small Indian town was more than he had ever hoped for. But still, resorting to taking a life in the endeavor to give somebody a life is most certainly wrong. Or is it, you wonder? Although this is as hypothetical a situation you may imagine, in the world’s largest democracy, sorrow and despair is never hard to find.

No, I don’t hate my country but I have begun to question the very ideals we claim to live by. We don’t have a leader and nor do we have a leader in sight who could do what’s right. Annas and Babas may seem better than what we have right now but power can corrupt the brightest of minds. I am, like the hundred crore others, am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel as a flickering candle. But I also know I see the glass as half empty.

Which takes me back to the first question. Will there ever be a clear distinction between what is right and what is not? I don’t think so. But still, I wonder..

Eternal Glory

Everyday there are many people born. Getting into statistics is useless. They say in India there are six births per second. While the death rate is much lower it is also a fact that most people are lost in time without knowing what hit them.
What makes life worth living? Is it the amount of money you make? Is the car you drive or the girl you make fall in love with you? The only that makes life worth living is satisfaction. People have lived and died without even knowing what satisfaction is. Our lives are controlled by a time table that refuses to make exceptions. The day begins and ends and a new one begins.
Find satisfaction, nothing is harder to find. Achilles killed hundreds in a short life span. He dreamt of them all at night. They were waiting for him, their brother, to join them. But he never stopped. Glory, satisfaction would have evaded him had he done so.

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Holy Wars

I wish I could do it. I wish you could do it. I wish everybody could do it. But everybody is worried about society.

Society too, is divided. The factors may vary, but the remainders are very few.

I wish I could add a disclaimer or something but if I intend to induce a separatist feeling then mincing words is not an option.

Religion has been misinterpreted for far too long. The condescending atheist may disagree, but 500 years ago it is very understandable that a man says that God, no I’m going to use a lower case for that, god told him that if I walk to the end of the earth I’ll fall off. But along with the flowering of the modern man, he became smarter and a lot of unanswered questions started getting answered. But fear lives on.

The bottom line is, all that stems from fear is blind faith. In my opinion, this is what we interpret as religion. Its just another form of competition. I believe it is the root cause of most things evil. The root cause of all things evil is ego. Such communion, is also another form of ego. There is no such thing as holy bloodshed. In my previous post, I talked about groups of people who believe in sharing a common brain. All such cults, I believe, think with a common brain. Individual thinking hasn’t really been given a chance to evolve here. But it has to. Demolishing a mosque, training a 3 year old techniques to identify a crowd good enough to blow up in, using fear as a method to become popular are all unholy in the truest form.

A realization is important at the earliest before we divide the world into 4 countries.